NOVEMBER

2  Trans Partners support group, 7-9 p.m. This group provides life/romantic partners of TGI people with a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a partner’s identity on their relationships and to connect with other partners. Meeting held in Providence on first Wednesday of each month. For more information and location contact partners@tginetwork.org.

2  PFLAG of Greater Providence, 6:45 p.m. The MET School Justice Building, 325 Public St., Providence. www.pflagprovidence.org or call 751-7571 or e-mail pflagprovidence@verizon.net for more information.

3  “Behind Every Good King is a Great Queen” A fundraiser for Day One Rhode Island, hosted by Ms. Lesbian RI 2011 (as Papa Razzi) and Haley Star. Comedy Connection, East Providence. Performances by Kitty Litter, LaDiva Jonz, BB Hayes, Sabrina Blaze, Papa Razzi, Miss Gay RI Victoria Starr, and more. Tickets are $20. Doors open at 7 p.m.; show at 8 p.m. For more information contact Lisa DeCesare at lisa.decesare@gmail.com

5  Church Supper and Drag Show, 6 p.m. St. Peter and St. Andrew Church Parish Hall, Pemberton St., Providence. $12. For tickets, call the church at 272-9649. Call early, as this sells out fast!

10  YPI Annual Event/Fundraiser: “Stepping Up, Stepping Out,” 6:30-11 p.m. The Biltmore Hotel, Providence. Cocktails, dinner, dancing, award presentations, and a silent auction. YPI is honored to be presenting awards to the following: Founders Award: Ken Fish; Lipsky/Whittaker Award: Options Newsmagazine; Luis Pagan Award: Noah Rory Mann. Visit http://youthprideinc.eventbrite.com to purchase tickets online or contact Kerri, at kerri@youthprideri.org, if you’d like to receive an official invitation in the mail.

10  Ani DeFranco and Melissa Ferrick at the Wilbur Theatre, 248 Tremont St., Boston. See www.ticketmaster.com for more information and tickets.

11-13  Transcending Boundaries Conference, Mass Mutual Center, Springfield, MA. This year’s keynote speaker is Kate Bornsteirn, author of “101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws.” Celebrate the diversity of gender, sex, sexuality and relationships with workshops, lectures and entertainment. Everyone is welcome to attend, including friends, families, allies and professionals who want to support the queer community. See www.transcendingboundaries.org or e-mail info@transcendingboundaries.org for more information.

11  COMPASS meeting. New England area female to male (FTM) trans support, information and social group. For more information e-mail compassftm@comcast.net

13  RI Prime Timers – A club to aid and support the aging gay and bisexual man. Social from 4:30-5 p.m., dinner and meeting from 5-7 p.m. $20 per person. See www.riprimetimers.org.

16  Queer Book Club, 7 p.m. Books on The Square, 241 Angell St., Providence. A discount is available if the book selection is purchased at Books on the Square. Book selection: Curious Wine by Katherine Forrest. For more information, e-mail queerbookclub@gmail.com.

17  Brokeback Mountain Gay Bingo. The Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Ave., Cranston. Doors open at 6 p.m. Bingo starts at 7 p.m. sharp! $20 for all games. For more information or to be a sponsor, contact Stephen Hartley at 521-3603 or stephenh@aidscareos.org.

20  Transgender Day of Remembrance, 6-8 p.m. Bell Street Chapel, 5 Bell St., Providence. Candle light vigil and community forum to discuss the state of RI’s Transgender community. For more information contact Hailee Malo at haileemalo@gmail.com.

30  Providence Gay Men’s Chorus Holiday concert: Wishes, 7 p.m. Beneficent Congregational Church, 300 Weybosset St., Providence. $20.

DECEMBER

3  Providence Gay Men’s Chorus Holiday concert: Wishes, 7 p.m. Beneficent Congregational Church, 300 Weybosset St., Providence. $20.

4  Providence Gay Men’s Chorus Holiday concert: Wishes, 4 p.m. Beneficent Congregational Church, 300 Weybosset St., Providence. $20.

7  Trans Partners support group, 7-9 p.m. This group provides life/romantic partners of TGI people with a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a partner’s identity on their relationships and to connect with other partners. Meeting held in Providence. For more information and location contact partners@tginetwork.org.

7  PFLAG of Greater Providence, 6:45 p.m. The MET School Justice Building, 325 Public St., Providence. www.pflagprovidence.org or call 751-7571 or e-mail pflagprovidence@verizon.net for more information.

9  COMPASS meeting. New England area female to male (FTM) trans support, information and social group. For more information e-mail compassftm@comcast.net

11  RI Prime Timers – A club to aid and support the aging gay and bisexual man. Social from 4:30-5 p.m., dinner and meeting from 5-7 p.m. $20 per person. See www.riprimetimers.org.

14  Queer Book Club, 7 p.m. Books on The Square, 241 Angell St., Providence. A discount is available if the book selection is purchased at Books on the Square. For more information and book selection, e-mail queerbookclub@gmail.com.

15  Martha Stewart Gay Bingo. The Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Ave., Cranston. Doors open at 6 p.m. Bingo starts at 7 p.m. sharp! $20 for all games. For more information or to be a sponsor, contact Stephen Hartley at 521-3603 or stephenh@aidscareos.org.

Gay Minister Installed at Bell St.

On October 23, the Reverend CJ McGregor will be installed as Minister of the Bell Street Chapel. This historic church has served the Providence community since 1875 and remains a strong advocate for social justice issues. It was the first church in Rhode island to support Marriage Equality.  Please contact cjmcgregor@prodigy.net or 508-736-3361 for complete information.

Calling all Female Football Fanatics (the kinds that play)

The Northeastern Nitro Women’s Football Team (whose owner, Amy Manfred, lives in Rhode Island) will be holding its first tryouts of the 2012 season at Schenectady High School, 1445 The Plaza, Schenectady, NY 12308 on November 19 from 12 — 3pm. All female athletes 18 plus are welcome. Tryout fee is $35. Please bring ID, proof of medical insurance and water.

For more info email: toocoaches@hotmail.com, amymanfred@yahoo.com, linebackergirl56@aol.com

Good News on Gender Identity and Standards of Care

The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) has released a revised edition of the Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People (the SOC). The first edition of the SOC was published in 1979 and it has undergone five revisions since. The 2011 version recognizes that “gender nonconformity in and of itself is not a disorder” and that the health and well-being of transgender individuals is negatively impacted by discrimination, stigma and prejudice. The WPATH SOC calls on health professionals to advocate for policies and legislation that encourage an inclusive environment for their patients. Additionally, the 2011 SOC reduces the rules and requirements formerly in place for transgender patients (such as living as their desired gender for one year) and instead advises “informed consent” for patients seeking treatment.

White House Names New LGBT Liaison

The Obama Administration has appointed Gautam Raghavan to the position of Associate Director of Public Engagement in the White House Office of Public Engagement. Raghavan, who is openly gay, was one of the Pentagon officials who managed the repeal process for Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. In his new position, Raghavan will serve as the Administration’s point of contact with the LGBT community and advocacy organizations.

Methodists Support Marriage Equality

In October, a group of 900 members of the United Methodist Church launched the We do! Methodists Living Marriage Equality project. We Do! is a network of clergy, individual church members, and supportive congregations who disagree with their denomination’s ban on marriage equality and support full marriage rights for same-sex couples. We Do! released “A Covenant of Conscience” stating that “We refuse to discriminate against any of God’s children and pledge to make marriage equality a lived reality within the New York Annual Conference (NYAC), regardless of sexual orientation or gender expression.” The NYAC represents Methodist congregations between the areas of Long Island, NY and Southern Connecticut. We Do! is sponsored by Methodists in New Directions (MIND), a group working to end discrimination against LGBTQ people in the denomination. To date, MIND has secured pledges supporting marriage equality from 1,000 members of Methodist clergy in 19 states.

Lesbians Marry in Texas

Transgender Human Rights Campaign board member Meghan Stabler has married another woman in Texas by legally declaring her gender as male, a development that could be considered controversial because of Stabler’s national prominence as the only known trans person sitting on the HRC board. The lesbian couple could not legally marry in Texas as such. But by declaring male gender-identity, presumably by producing a birth certificate that reflected Stabler’s gender at birth, their union is recognized by the Lone Star State.

Senate Confirms Openly Gay Federal Judge

The US Senate has confirmed Alison Nathan for a seat on the US District Court for the Southern District of New York. The historic appointment and confirmation make Nathan the second openly gay woman to hold a Federal judgeship and the country’s third openly gay Federal judge. There was limited opposition during the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing, with Chair Patrick Leahy stating that there was “no question the Senate should confirm Ms. Nathan.”

GMDVP Expands Services

The Boston-based Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project (GMDVP) has announced that they are expanding their focus to serve the entire LGBTQ community. GMDVP previously served gay, bisexual and transgender men only, providing an array of services to residents of Rhode Island and other nearby states. 
“We have made incredible progress,” says GMDVP Executive Director Curt Rogers, “in moving our society and the domestic violence movement to a place of acknowledging and serving male victims of domestic violence.” He adds that GMDVP has always served all victims of domestic violence – according to the 2010 GMDVP annual report, 13% of their safe home clients identified as lesbian women.

As part of the strategic plan, the Board of Trustees also voted to explore providing sexual assault services, and has just received a 3-year $300,000 Federal contract, in collaboration with the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center (BARCC), to provide LGBTQ culturally-specific sexual assault case management services.

GMDVP expects a name change to follow in the coming months.

As you may have heard, bullying played a factor in the loss of yet another young teen. Jamie Hubley, a 15-year-old from Ottawa, Canada committed suicide on October 14. In his blog, called “You Can’t Break… When you’re already broken,” he talks about the struggles of being openly gay in high school and the bullying he has encountered. He talks about how people tell him “it gets easier” but he just thinks its “bullsh*t.” If only someone had heard his cries for help before it was too late he might still be here today.

There are many great programs offering support for struggling youths out there, but it’s clear that they are not known well enough and are too few and far between. I felt I had to do something before we lose another bright soul to suicide. I have started a website (A Place to Turn: www.facebook.com/SupportAgainstBullying) for people to go and share their stories, struggles, ideas, and words of wisdom with others and to also help promote other programs already out there. My hope is for the site to become a community of people helping each other. Also, I have a list of hotlines and support lines for easy access. If someone is feeling lost, alone and struggling to see the light, I want them to have a better chance of finding a place of hope. If you or anyone you know is struggling to find the light, please visit my website  and let us help you! Also if you would like to share your story or join me in this fight to stop bullying and support ALL of our youth, become a friend of my site! The most beautiful thing a person can do is be true to him or herself. Bullies make struggling youths just like Jamie Hubley feel that being their true self is not acceptable. Bullying is what is not acceptable.

In Jamie’s blog he posted:

“Remember me as a Unicorn :3 x) Maybe in my next life Il be a flying squirrel   Il fly away.”

Please, help spread the word and join the fight against bullying! Help youth find the light before we lose another unicorn.

Alyssa Janice Danielson

To the editor:

[In] October, Options presented its readers with a heretofore unknown word, exotify.   On page 18, Kim Stowell’s article declares, “Gay Asian men are often…exotified by the larger gay community.”   Huh?

That sent me to one, then two dictionaries, the latter, Merriam Webster’s Third New International Dictionary (1986), Unabridged.  Practically threw my back out lifting this big book.  But, I figured, if it’s a word it’s got to be here.  Well, no.

Google did turn up one article from an independent college newspaper penned by two sophomores which introduced to the entire English speaking world an original arrangement of letters, exotify.

Please ask Kim Stowell to provide definitions for any original words that [s]he may use.   Better yet, use ones that already exist.

Ron Marsh

[Editor’s Note: We had a lengthy discussion on the topic of this particular word. Noticing that it was a term none of us had ever heard, it gave us pause. We decided, however, that it is a word that should exist, as it perfectly described that which Mr. Lam was trying to communicate. Options appreciates your eagle eye, Mr. Marsh! Maybe you will join our editing team?]

Op-Ed

Winters Tale

Cynthia Glinnick

When I graduated from the University of Rhode Island in 1976 I don’t recall there being much discussion about diversity. And if there was, it certainly didn’t include gay people. The women’s movement was in full swing, and that took precedence over something as anathema as homosexuality. We did manage to find one another but it was informal and there were no support services on campus.

Fast forward twenty years to 1995 and you begin to see the inclusion of gay student organizations. The University had changed with the times, but scratch the surface and you would soon see that it was mostly lip service. This is what Andrew Winters discovered then as he strove to create a welcoming atmosphere for LGBT students attending URI.

After sixteen years Winters, well liked and respected by the students for being an outspoken advocate for LGBT concerns on the Kingston campus, was forced to leave his position. What happened in the intervening years appears to be nothing short of cloak and dagger.

Winters, an out gay man, was hired to work for Housing and Residential Life, a position similar to ones he had held at three other major universities. Four years into the job at URI, he identified the need for a place where openly gay students could meet, talk, exchange ideas and socialize. At the same time, a fraternity had been banned from the campus for violating alcohol regulations and its house was sitting vacant and unused. He lobbied the administration for the use of the house as a safe place for gay students to gather and he won. Not coincidentally, Winters was assaulted on campus by a group of young men who identified themselves as URI students and “get out fags” was painted across the front of the defunct fraternity house. He held a vigil in front of the house, protesting this behavior, and about a year later the Rainbow Diversity House was established.

In the meantime, Winters left his position in student housing and was appointed Director of LGBT Programs and Services, reporting directly to the Vice President. He brought guest lecturers to conferences and symposiums, provided trainings for Resident Assistants, took the students to other universities for related events, and facilitated open discussion groups three nights a week in a dedicated space in Adams Hall, often paying for refreshments and such out of his own pocket. “He got people like Barney Frank to come and speak for free,” revealed Winters’ partner Don Smith, “He received accolades from the University for his work, was the recipient of the annual Diversity Award and was even nominated Employee of the Year.”

While all of this was going on, Winters was getting incident reports of on-going discrimination, harassment, verbal assaults and death threats toward gay students, which he brought to the attention of the Vice President of Student Affairs. The students, separately and unbeknownst to Andrew, brought the same concern to the Vice President. When they were met with a lack of sufficient interest, they occupied a twenty-four hour study room in the library last October to protest the harassment and discrimination of gay students on campus. They gathered 1400 signatures on a petition and demanded that the new president of the University meet with them, address their concerns and make real changes at the University. Many faculty members wrote letters to the URI President and the Board of Governors in support of Winters.

A month later, The Chronicle, a prestigious publication for higher education, wrote an article focused on URI and Winters’ work. Ironically, this was the point where things began to really unravel for him.

Winters began to feel under attack, both professionally and personally. He had to report when he came and went and justify his comings and goings.  He was told that if he didn’t like the new rules, he could look into early retirement. Fed up with how he was being treated, he filed a discrimination claim against the University, hired a lawyer and took a leave of absence.

For a man who challenged the status quo and championed the LGBT cause on a campus that once had the reputation of being the most homophobic in the country (per The Advocate), who steadfastly gave of himself for students who were being harassed and assaulted, who fought for those same students to have a safe place to gather, Andrew Winters’ legacy has come to an abrupt and ignominious end.

Editor’s Note: The writer could not get anyone from URI to comment.

It all started with an idea. Christina, a member of the University of Rhode Island LBTQ Women’s Group, learned about the It Gets Better Project (www.itgetsbetter.org), a worldwide movement to show LGBT youth that life does in fact get better. The project collects stories of LGBT people who are living openly and allies who want to be a visible source of support to young people. The idea is to inspire youth to live comfortably and openly and to show that they too can achieve success and happiness.

Christina thought the Women’s Group could produce a video to show support at URI. The group agreed and figured they would film on their cell phones and edit using free software on one of their laptops. Little did they know what a large and powerful project they were starting.

The Women’s Group raised over $10,000 for the project and instead of filming on cell phones they were able to hire an award-winning videographer. Colorful flyers asking students, faculty and staff to participate in video interviews went out around campus and the response was staggering. More than 85 people participated in filming, resulting in over twelve hours of video footage.

The film It Gets Better made its debut at URI on October 5 to an audience of over 900 people. President David Dooley spoke in his welcome about how proud he was to support the project and to work at an institution where “hope” was on its seal. The message of hope resounded throughout the event.

The premiere-goers watched in silence as professors whose classes they had taken, students they recognized from around campus, and staff members who helped them navigate college life smoothly talk about their experiences. Some were themselves LGBT community members telling stories of perseverance. Others were allies telling stories of their LGBT family members and friends. Their stories were emotional, touching, and inspiring. They all had the same positive message: no matter what you are going through now, it gets better and there are people here at URI who support you.

Alycia Mosley Austin, Director of Graduate Recruitment and Diversity Initiatives, participated because “she wanted to be a face of someone students could go to, someone who would be supportive, listen, and understand. There is a whole group of people here for you [at URI].”

It is important for everyone to have role models. This film allows for LGBT students, staff, and faculty to see people like them who have faced similar issues. They can see real examples of people they may know who are successful while being open about their identity and/or sexuality. They can see how it gets better and how they too can be loved and supported by just being who they are.

Jennifer Specker says that she has seen URI “gradually embracing diversity of sexual orientation and gender identity” in her 25-plus years there as a Professor of Oceanography. “It’s a whole new world,” she says. Cathy Marcotte, class of 1982, also says things are different today, “not completely where they will be yet, but much, much further along the right path because of the making and showing of It Gets Better.”

I knew as soon as I saw the first flyer that I wanted to participate. I couldn’t help thinking about how useful a video like this would have been if I had seen it when I was first questioning my sexuality at age thirteen. The students in the Women’s Group did a phenomenal job turning Christina’s idea into reality and it says a lot for the positive support on campus. Joseph Santiago, Coordinator of the URI GLBT Center, agrees. “I believe that these women have become bridges that will support the weight that future students carry with them as they find themselves on the same road,” he says.

There was a real sense of community and pride at the premiere. Pride in being LGBT, and pride in being a part of the URI community. Jess Raffaele, the representative for the LGBTIQ² Alumni Chapter, said, “I was really proud it happened at my school as an alumni and as a staff member.” Jody Lisberger, Director of Women’s Studies, was “proud that URI would put all their energy and efforts into making and showing this film. It shows how open communication is really important.”

This writer knows personally that the video had an impact because the morning after the premiere, I woke up to an email from a former student. She said that seeing my story made her feel that life was okay and it helped her accept who she was. She wanted to thank me for being an inspiration. Reading those few sentences brought tears to my eyes. At that moment, I realized that I was now one of many visible supporters on campus, and that this video would have a large and lasting impact for the URI community.

For questions about the URI LBTQ Women’s Group or to order a DVD of the film for only $7 plus shipping, please contact co-advisor Holly J. Nichols at hjnichols@uri.edu.

Michael Graves, a gay fiction writer, has written his first book, a collection of short stories published in September.

Written mostly from a gay child’s perspective, Dirty One has already received some rave reviews.

“I didn’t set out to make a collection,” Graves, a resident of Leominster, Massachusetts, told Options in an interview. “I was just writing short stories about different aspects of my childhood. They were dark and a little humorous.”

Most of the stories take place in Leominster, where the author has lived all his life except for stints in Cambridge and Boston. “Oh, and L.A. for a month,” he added. “I moved back here and met my husband, also a lifelong resident. We’ve been together for nine years.” They wed not long after marriage equality became legal in the Bay State in 2004.

Like much fiction, Graves’s stories are based on fact. Writing from a gay child’s perspective is unique, but it’s based on his personal experience.

“I knew I was gay when I was five or six years old,” the author said. “I accepted it and never struggled with it. Everybody has a different experience. I have friends who came out at different ages, some in their thirties.”

When told that his stories remind one of the well-known gay author David Sedaris because of their dark humor, Graves confirmed that Sedaris is a role model.  “Other writers who inspire me are Truman Capote and Bret Easton Ellis, who wrote American Psycho and Less Than Zero,” he added.

One of his stories, “From Kissing,” is about the ignorance and fear surrounding HIV in the 1980s. The main character Butch, a sixth grader, worries that he has contracted AIDS from tongue-kissing his friend Milo.

Back then, “The only information about gay life that trickled down to me was bad jokes,” Graves recalled. “I distinctly remember when AIDS started. It was very clear to me about how to prevent the virus, but there was still this air of mystery.” He’s always been obsessed with his health, the author explained. His book reflects that.

“The title story, ‘Dirty One’ is about a boy whose mother suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder,” Graves reported. “It’s a theme that runs through the stories — what it means to be dirty and what it means to be clean.” “Comb City,” the title of another story, is a euphemism for Leominster, which is still called the plastics capital of America. That famous scene from the film “The Graduate” immediately comes to mind.

“Back then, when it was a still big factory town, there would be these small black plastic combs to use on your hair before you had a school photo taken,” Graves said in explaining the story’s title. Pollution was a byproduct of the town’s factories. “In that story, I write about the older brother of the principal character talking about how the air you breathe is going to kill you,” he said.

It’s unfair to ask a short-story writer which one in a collection is a favorite. After all, they are all the author’s children.  “It is difficult, but ‘Sea Horse’ is a favorite because it’s about a young gentleman named George who’s 17 or 18,” Graves answered after some thought. “He desperately wants to have a child. I went into a darker place for that piece.” The story was nominated for the Pushcart Prize and the Million Writers Award.

“Get this book and read it now so you can say you knew Michael Graves when (or at least you can say you knew his writing when),” wrote one critic who gave the book five stars on its Amazon.com page.

Graves earned a Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing at Lesley University in Cambridge. His work has appeared in such literary journals as Lodestar Quarterly, Velvet Mafia, Jack Magazine and Cherry Bleeds. His stories have also been included in the print anthologies Cool Thing, Best Gay Love Stories 2006, and Eclectica Magazine’s Best Fiction, Volume One.

Dirty One

By Michael Graves

Paperback, 152 pp.

Chelsea Station Editions

• Kim Stowell

“We Do This Every Year”
Will there ever come a year when the transgender community does not have to hold a Day of Remembrance?

*Author’s Note: Some members of the LGBTQ community use gender-neutral pronouns. Common examples include “ze/zie,” “hir,” and “x.” Noel uses “zig” and “ziger.”

There’s been a lot of talk about LGBTQ youth in the Options office lately. How do we reach them? What do they need from the older generation? We know they’re doing great things — how can we share their story? Kim Stowell and I discussed featuring GSAs, or interviewing young leaders, and time and again, I kept repeating the same thing: “I need to sit down with Noel Puello, the youth Board member at YPI.”

I’d met Noel more than a year ago at YPI, and have run into zig repeatedly since then. Noel has always impressed me, and who can resist zig’s infectious smile? And as I thought about the young leaders in our community, I knew Noel was someone we needed to recognize. I had the pleasure of spending some time with Noel on a Saturday afternoon. My story was originally about the challenges of starting a high school GSA, but as we talked, it became clear that Noel was the story: a how-to on becoming a young leader and giving back to your community.

Noel Puello is a high school senior at Providence Career and Technical Academy (PCTA) studying culinary arts, and has been a YPI board member for two years. Noel is active with a number of other organizations, and serves on the Studio Team Advisory Board at New Urban Arts. “When I started school, I was just like every other teenage high school boy, which was boring. I wanted to be loud, outspoken, I wanted to be amazing, and I wanted to be myself.”  After coming out during sophomore year, Noel immediately became active with YPI. “I volunteered for everything,” zig says. One day, James Robinson (then Executive Director of YPI) asked Noel to apply for Board membership. “He saw something in me.” I asked Noel how it felt to be on the Board of such an important organization, “Being a voice there is amazing — it’s pretty damn cool.”

In the 2010-2011 school year, Noel started PCTA’s first GSA because “I felt really uncomfortable at school. I couldn’t find a safe place to be.” I asked Noel about the process of starting a GSA. “It was hard,” zig said, noting that although it was easy to secure an advisor and meeting space at the school, getting permission from the principal proved challenging. Aside from scheduling conflicts, the principal was concerned about the GSA addressing topics like sex, suicide, and bullying, and they had to agree not to use any of these terms in their promotional materials, or to discuss them at meetings. By the time the GSA was approved, it was April and there were just two months left in the school year and little time to make an impact, but their participation in the Day of Silence met with a lot of support from both students and teachers. Now in its second year, the GSA has largely functioned as a support group, although Noel hopes that more PCTA students will attend YPI’s GSA Coalition meetings, and the group will participate in the Transgender Day of Remembrance and the Day of Silence.

I was curious about the issues that impact LGBTQ youth and asked Noel about the challenges that they face from day to day. “We’ve had such a different experience, and our voices aren’t heard as much.” Noel also notes that the older generation had a much harder experience that today’s youth might not truly understand, and notes that very few of zig’s peers “are actually involved in activism, or they do it maybe once a year.” Noel, a queer person of color, is also concerned with the lack of public leadership for LGBTQ people of color, and mentioned that while queer history is full of stories of brave men and women who have moved the community forward, it is also largely based on the Caucasian experience. LGBTQ youth also have the unique experience of being “cyber-bullied.” The use of the Internet to bully youth “makes it a lot worse; you can be bullied at any time. You’re being emotionally abused and you can’t get away from it.”

So how does it get better? “You find a family if the family you have is not the one you want,” says Noel, “These places — YPI, New Urban Arts, The HUB, Youth in Action — they’re everything to me. They make you feel like you’re one in a million. And I have really amazing friends.” I asked how it was possible that zig had done so much and gained so much perspective so early in life, and Noel responded quite simply, “I just wanted to be heard, I was tired of just doing what I was told to do, I wanted to take my life in my own hands and be an individual.”

AIDS Project Rhode Island is collecting contact information for “gay-friendly” doctors in Rhode Island. This effort was launched in response to inquiries from APRI clients, and will include primary care practices and physicians who “provide a welcoming and non-judgmental environment,” and “protect the privacy/confidentiality of gay/bisexual clients.” In meeting “gay-friendly” criteria, these doctors will also be aware of the specific health needs and issues of gay/bi-sexual men. To suggest a doctor, contact bertrandth@familyserviceri.org with their name, contact information for the practice, and any comments about your experience with the doctor.

Rhode Island Gets Gay

The Williams Institute has released a report based on the 2010 US Census that ranks Rhode Island number 14 in population of same-sex couples, and ranks Providence as 11th in similarly sized cities. In Rhode Island, LGBTQ couples number 8.9 of every 1,000 households. Rhode Island lesbians are in the lead, representing 62% of same-sex households, while an overall 19% of couples are raising children. Nationally, census numbers show 22% of more than 900,000 same-sex couples are raising children. Not surprisingly, Provincetown’s gay and lesbian households make it number one in cities with a population under 100,000.

Marriage Equality on the Ballot in NC

On September 13th, the North Carolina State Senate voted to allow a referendum on marriage equality that will be put on the ballot in May 2012. The Senate passed the measure by a 30-16 vote, just one day after it was passed by the House of Representatives by a margin of 75-42. This means that North Carolina voters will have the opportunity to amend the state constitution to define marriage as one man and one woman. NC law already limits marriage to one man and one woman, but putting the issue to a ballot question ensures no possibility of gubernatorial veto. The original bill text stipulated a November 2012 referendum which would provide the high voter turnout of a presidential election, while the May 2012 referendum will be held on the same date as the Republican primary. Local and national marriage equality and LGBTQ-advocacy groups are already organizing in North Carolina to ensure that this discriminatory measure does not pass.

Millennials Rock

In August, the Public Religion Research Institute released the findings of a survey of millennials concerning the rights of LGBTQ individuals and families. The results showed an unmistakable generation gap in terms of feelings about LGBTQ equality. The poll compared millennials (aged 18-29), the general public, and seniors aged 65+, and showed a 20-point gap between millennials and seniors on every LGBTQ-related public policy issue. 49% of Republican millennials support marriage equality, as do 44% of Evangelical millennials. Overall, 62% of this demographic favor marriage equality, 69% support adoption by same-sex couples, and 79% support legislation preventing employment discrimination against LGBTQ individuals. This is a striking comparison to the 31% of seniors who support marriage equality, and 36% who support same-sex couples adopting children. It should be noted that the Public Religion Research Institute’s poll is in line with other recent polls showing a significant five-year increase in public support for marriage equality.

Run Tammy Run!

Wisconsin Representative Tammy Baldwin will run for the US Senate in the 2012 elections. Baldwin, a seven-term Congresswoman, will run for the seat being vacated by retiring Senator Herb Kohl. If elected, Baldwin would become the first openly gay U.S. Senator in the nation’s history. Baldwin is no stranger to blazing trails – she is the only openly gay female in the House of Representatives. She was also co-founder of the House’s LGBT Equality Caucus, which focuses on addressing issues of LGBT equality and discriminatory laws.

On October 2, hundreds of people will participate in the Walk for Life, one of the biggest annual fundraisers for HIV/AIDS. The purpose of the Walk for Life is to raise awareness as well as money, which allows AIDS Project Rhode Island to continue to provide our community with the vital services and education needed to combat HIV/AIDS.

This year the theme of the Walk for Life is “Take Charge! Get Tested!” and the goal is to promote HIV testing among all Rhode Islanders who may be at risk for HIV.

“People are still dying from this disease,” said Dr. Josiah Rich, an attending physician at Miriam Hospital in Providence and a Professor of Medicine at Brown University.

Rich, who has been treating people with HIV for more than two decades, said the epidemic underwent a “miraculous transformation” in the 1990s. After a decade when AIDS claimed the lives of hundreds of thousands, it soon became a chronic, treatable disease, thanks to a slew of new medications.

In the past few years, however, the rate of HIV transmission by men who have sex with men (MSM) has skyrocketed. “We need to do more HIV testing,” Rich said, noting that a high percentage of the population with HIV remain unaware of their diagnosis. “We still have people showing up at the clinic in the late stages of the disease, never knowing they were infected,” Rich noted.

Rich believes there is still a stigma surrounding HIV. That, and what he calls a sex-drenched culture, are factors in people deciding to engage in risky behaviors and then refusing to get tested. There is also a lack of promotion of safe sex in the media.

“Using condoms is just one thing, but if people get on treatment, the treatment is so effective it reduces transmission to others,” Rich said. “The combination of using condoms and being on treatment is going to stop this epidemic in its tracks. I would like Rhode Island to be the first state in the nation to have everybody tested and everybody in care.”

People in the LGBT community need to collaborate in order to combat the spread of HIV, Rich added. “Everyone in the community has to pull together to address this problem. We need to change the culture to one where it is normal to know your status, to know your partner’s status and to openly discuss how to prevent HIV.”

For more information, go to www.aidsprojectri.org, or call 401-831-5522.

I am proud to say I’ve been part of an effort over the last six months or so to create a center for the Rhode Island LGBT community. (I’ve been calling it QHQ – get it?) A personal vision of mine led me to talk it up with other LGBT folks I know, and everywhere I went, folks were cheering me on. Not only that, but everyone whom I approached to serve on an incorporating committee agreed without hesitation to be a part of it. It seemed the timing was right.

The next step was to survey the community to see if they agreed, and wow! Talk about validation! The enthusiasm was just bursting off the page; our community wants this to happen, and it was very encouraging to see how many people indicated preferences that were right in line with what I’d been thinking. (You can read a report on the survey on page ___.)

To reassure those who won’t let go of the memories of the last attempt to create such a space, which failed because it was a secretive, one-man operation, please know that we are a seasoned group proceeding slowly and thoughtfully. So far we have a working statement of mission and vision, as follows:

Mission:  To build and support the RI LGBT community by providing a visible, safe, inclusive, welcoming shared space.

Vision:   A center where community organizations can hold meetings, where those organizations who don’t have offices can find a home, and where folks can get information and support, attend events, meet people and organize around common goals.

And we also have a kick-ass committee laying the all-important groundwork. They are:

Tony Aguilar, Stephen Hartley, Emma Garrett Nelson, Laura Pisaturo, Ray Sirico, Patrick Smock and myself.

We promise to continue providing updates as we move along.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, your favorite LGBT community newsmagazine is gearing up to celebrate 30 years in print in 2012. This is quite an accomplishment; there are very few publications like ours that can make that claim. So, naturally, we thought we’d throw a party or two, and there are other surprises in store as well. In fact, we’re going to get this party started by offering our subscriptions for free, just like in the good old days (as in two years ago, when a well-meaning advisor told us we were crazy to offer free subscription. Well, call us crazy, but we like being free better)

Stay tuned for further fabulous details!